Moms Who Nurse Toddlers Say It's Just Natural
Two-and-a-half-year-old Emma Brink goes to preschool, plays with her kittens, spends afternoons with her Grandma -- and enjoys breast-feeding with her mom every day.
For Emma and her mother, Nancy Brink Moses, nursing is a natural, comfortable way to be together.
"It's a wonderful thing," said the 28-year-old Lakeland mom. "She is one of my favorite people, and I appreciate this special opportunity to be with her in this very special, very intimate way."
Moses is among a small sector of American women who choose to breast-feed their children beyond infancy and into toddlerhood.
To many people, the idea of a 2-year-old climbing into Mommy's lap and asking to nurse is a foreign and uncomfortable concept.
But to the mothers who do it, breast-feeding a toddler is a natural and healthy part of raising
children.
"No one hands you a 4-year-old and says `Nurse him.' He just grows a tiny bit every day and is every bit your baby each time you nurse him," said 36-year-old Christine Smith, a Lakeland mother who nursed her two boys into toddlerhood.
Fewer than 12 percent of U.S. mothers are still nursing by the time their children reach age 1, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
That's in sharp contrast to other countries, where it's common for children to nurse until they are 3, 4 or even 5. Breast-feeding rates overall are also much higher in other countries than in the United States, according to the World Health Organization.
Researchers and psychologists say the disparity stems from distinctly American attitudes toward breast-feeding and sexuality.
With the sexual revolution of the 1960s came the notion that breasts are sexual objects, not organs meant to feed and nourish, said Dr. Andrea Crivelli-Kovach, director of the community health program at Arcadia University in suburban Philadelphia.
Some circles are challenging that notion -- breast-feeding rates among infants have slowly grown in the past 10 years -- but the idea of bare breasts and impressionable toddlers still frequently sparks indignation, she said.
"The sexual connotation of the breast is so ingrained in the American mind that to a nurse a child beyond a year (looks) so inappropriate," she said. "They think once a baby has teeth and once they're mobile and walking around, that this child should be independent."
THE BENEFITS
There has been no evidence that breast-feeding is psychologically harmful to children.
On the contrary, researchers and psychologists say breast-feeding leads to a stronger bond between mother and child. They also point to breast-feeding's undisputed health benefits, which include warding off ear infections and allergies among children, and a reduced risk of ovarian and breast cancers among mothers.
And the longer a baby is breast-fed, the better those benefits are going to be, said Dr. Joan Meek, director of academic pediatrics and the outpatient pediatric center at Arnold Palmer Hospital in Orlando.
"(People think) up to the first birthday that breast-feeding is wonderful, and after one year the child is somehow supposed to be drinking cow's milk," she said. "But human milk is actually preferable for the older toddler as well."
Still, not every doctor or psychologist agrees with the idea of toddlers breast-feeding.
"It's just symptomatic of the modern maternal trend of putting the child at the center of the universe," said John Rosemond, a family psychologist and syndicated parenting columnist. "I see it as completely unnecessary. I think it's a sad comment on the state of motherhood in America today."
The World Health Organization recommends breast-feeding for at least two years. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends mothers breast-feed for at least a year, or for as long as mother and child both desire it to continue.
For some mothers, that means waiting until their child is ready to give up breast-feeding -- even if he's 2 or 3 years old, or older.
"When she wants to quit, she'll stop," said Lakeland mother Laura Lewis, who breast-feeds her 2-year-old daughter, Madison.
To Lewis, 29, breast-feeding a toddler is as natural as breathing. Her own mother breast-fed her until she was 4, and her brother until he was 2.
"She breast-fed us until we were ready to wean, and that was always how I wanted it with my kids," she said.
While pregnant, Amanda Peterson had decided to breast-feed just for the first six months. Little Skylar is now 9 months, however, and her mom is still breast-feeding because both she and her daughter want to.
"My breast-feeding goal has changed from a "goal" to a question mark," the 29-year-old Lakeland mother said. "Now, I think I'll breast-feed her until one of us is ready to stop."
BEYOND PHYSICAL NOURISHMENT
Breast-feeding a toddler is not like breast-feeding an infant. Infants need to nurse eight to 10 times a day for extended periods of time. For many babies, their mother's milk is their sole source of nourishment.
For toddlers, however, breast-milk is not so much a source of food as comfort. Toddlers nurse not because they have to, but because they want to, said Crivelli-Kovach.
"Once you pass a year, the whole character of the nursings changes," she said. "It becomes more contact-comfort and supplemental nutrition. It's a comfort thing."
They also breast-feed far less frequently than infants, and often for only a few minutes at a time.
For Smith, the mother of two boys, nursing was a way for her son William to spend special time alone with his mother.
"It was just something he needed to help fall asleep, when hurt, sick or sad, or to reconnect with Mommy after a busy day," she said. "I remember being shocked the first time I saw a 3-year-old nursing, yet there I was."
In the end, how long to breast-feed is a decision different for every mother.
"Mothers that make it two weeks -- they're giving their baby a gift," said Carla Parry, a Lakeland lactation consultant. "Mothers that make it two or three or four years, they're giving their baby an extended gift."
Rebecca Mahoney can be reached at 863-802-7548 or rebecca. mahoney@theledger.com.